A little post for my nanna, written with all my love.
You’ve been gone for two years and left a big hole in my heart. I miss you so fucking much everyday, but I am still moving forward.
When I got to Australia, I got this little tattoo, I know you don’t like them, but you know, all of your grandkids now have tattoos. I picked an orchid for the design, your favorite flower, and the date of your departure to reunite with Pop.
Last year, nanna, I was working in Melbourne, as an assistant manager travelling with Angelique (I am sure you remember her!), on the other side of the world. I am gonna tell you everything that happened, just like I used to do when I would come to yours.
We had a great appartment, with one of the best views of Melbourne, you would have been proud of us. I worked for a couple of months, and cooked some great homemade meals (nothing compared to what you’d make me, your famous cucumbers with yogurt sauce or foie gras), but always with a stock cube for the pastas, just like you taught me. Oh I miss those good times cooking together!
Then I found true love. We never really talked about it, but I am sure that deep down, you know that boys weren’t for me.
Of course, I had my load of challenges, but as you know me, you know I can’t sit still. Between coming back to surprise mum on her 50th birthday, oh she cried, and going to New Zealand for a quick weekend getaway (and get my visa extended!), 2019 has been a hell of a rollercoaster but I enjoyed every part of it.
I met Taya’s family, they all accepted me right away, and I am sure you would have loved to meet Taya, you guys would have been inseparables. She would have taught you a bit of English, it would have been super easy with Internet, you were quite a geek nanna!
Unfortunately, I had to go back to France, my visa was about to expire, and I had no money left. But I will be back on the road, you know me, once I have saved up enough money to do so.
By the way I had found a great job nanna, but this coronavirus pandemic just messed up my plans. I am so glad you not here with us anymore to this our world, you’re way better off with Pop. We had planned for Taya to arrive on the 20th of May and stay a year in France, but the bloody frontiers are closed until further notice. We know we will soon be back together, but it still hurts everyday not waking up next to each other. We call each other on Whatsapp (you remember all those times I would ring you before going to work in New Zealand, you were such an expert), and it makes it a bit easier.
I spent 3 months with everyone at home, including the boys and the girlfriend. Your youngest grandson is backpacking around France, you should be proud of him, he is following his big sister’s footsteps. I got bored so many times, I read a few books, started taking great pictures, and spent hours playing Sudoku and Nonogram, just like we used to do together at yours.
I am gonna start work next week nanna, I can’t wait! I wish I could have showed you the hotel, we would have gone on walks to the beach, and have a great lunch together at a local restaurant.
I hope that you are proud of me and everything I have accomplished this year. I am happy, in love, and hopefully soon financially independent.
I miss you everyday, I often light up the candle Taya got me, or go to church and light up a candle for you and Pop.
I hate this time of year, it reminds me that you left us all too soon, too soon to be there at my wedding, see my kids, and be a great grandmother.
In all those hard times, I know I can count on Taya’s unconditional support, I don’t know what I’d do without her, she truly is amazing nanna !
Send all my love to Pop, Grandpa and Grandma, and don’t forget Beau, Taya’s brother. I know you guys must have met up there and brought us together.
I love you Nanna, rest in peace ❤️